Caffeine, My Beloved!

Caffeine, my beloved! Giddy with the rush and buzz of you, my step is light, my eyes are bright. I barely feel the need for sleep, my heart skips every other beat.

Caffeine, you make me a better person—and not just figuratively—measurably too. With you in my life I am not just more alert and engaging, but more interested in the world and open to the possibilities that the universe has to offer. You complete me.

How do I love thee? Let me count the empties. I wake to your kiss, I feed off of your energy for sustenance throughout the day. You are with me at every meal and while I watch too much TV or play too many video games hours after I should have gone to bed. You help me get my work done, comforting me in the wee hours when everyone else has gone. You are always ready to pick me up and help me keep going.

And yet, everyone says that you are bad for me and that our relationship is unnatural. They accuse you of enabling my self-destructive tendencies and fueling my bad habits. What do they know of our love? Sure, my mouth is dry, my hands shake and I can’t sleep even when I want to, but aren’t those the same symptoms of any deep and passionate love?

And oh, you are a wicked harsh mistress to cross. I have tried to leave you! But without your love my head pounds, my muscles ache and the very light that touches my eyes burns like fire. Plus, I get crabby as hell. Without you, food loses its taste, my wit loses its edge and I fall asleep at my desk.

Ah, Caffeine, my beloved.