More Hair and Merkin Muffley too!

I was reading again today about how online content about hair draws more traffic than any other topic. That just seems weird to me. Or really vain or something. Who are all of these people looking for content about hair? So anyway, I started thinking about how it might be fun to blog about hair, but in a way that would potentially be offensive to the kind of people who are normally online searching for content about hair. You know, just for fun. Because it's late.

For instance, I might write about hair from the perspective of nose hair styling. Nose hair styling is topic near and dear to the heart of my nose-hair-stylist, Lon. Lon's been coiffing the nasal hair of America's hottest celebrities for over a decade. His work goes well beyond the standard trim and tweeze. Lon's a nose hair genius. Looking for a nose hair dye job? Want your nose hair braided? Need nose hair extensions? Call Lon.

Of course, I could always write about the hair incorporated in merkins. Pubic toupees. Then the people searching for legitimate hair information can accidentally find out that many pubic wigs are made from Yak hair. Or that Peter Sellers played a president named Merkin Muffley. Or that it's rumored that Sienna Miller had to have her pubic hair digitally enhanced for a film role because the merkin they tried didn't look realistic enough. Which makes me think of Bruce Willis in Hudson Hawk. Because of how the hair on his head had to be digitally retouched--not because he wore a merkin. Although, I suppose he may have worn a merkin for the filming. There's just no way to tell based on the existing cut of the film.

Anyway, take that you hair content seeking Internet users! Give it a rest!