Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Inviting Disaster: On Raising Lemons, Pseudo PALK's and Best Sellers

I have a lemon tree that I have nearly killed three times now because it is hard to grow lemons in Portland Oregon. They do fine in the summer, but as soon as it starts getting cold, my poor lemon tree starts dropping leaves and lemons and looking all mangy. I swore that this year I was not going to let it suffer, but then we moved a short time ago and left the tree at the other house. So, of course, there was a cold snap. Now the leaves are all yellow and half the tiny little lemons have dropped off and I feel like a shoddy tree keeper again. It's a good thing there isn't an anti-cruelty to plants society or I would be in some serious trouble.

I don't know much about raising lemons, but here's something that strikes me as odd. There's been one particular lemon growing on my tree for well over a year. It's not a particularly big lemon, and in all that time, it hasn't turned yellow yet. What's up with that? Do lemons just take forever to ripen, or is this a peculiar lemon? Anyone with advanced lemon knowledge should feel free to comment and let me know.

I guess that is an open invitation to the various fiends in the world posing as people with advanced lemon knowledge but who actually have little to no lemon knowledge. That's right, I'm talking about the despicable pseudo PALK's. I know you're out there, just itching to spread false lemon knowledge, and I dare you--no, I double dare you--to try to leave a fake comment without me knowing. Chickens.

Apart from that, the Helm issue #2 has made the Best Seller list at Dark Horse and the Diamond top 300 for August! Whoo Hoo! I'm two for two! But now I know I'm just inviting disaster for issue #3 by gloating about the first two.

I guess that's what I'm doing with this whole blog entry--inviting disaster--if not from pseudo PALK's, then from the gods of the comic book best seller lists. Oh well, that's just me. That's just how I roll.

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